Why do autistic Women need tailored therapy?

Most therapy wasn’t designed with autistic Women in mind. In fact, most things in life either ignore, dismiss, or fail to consider the needs and differences of autistic Women.

Barriers like communication differences, social anxiety, literal thinking, processing time, or executive function issues can make therapy feel inaccessible — or even impossible. This can leave autistic Women feeling excluded or even harmed by spaces that are supposed to support them.

The autistic brain processes emotional experiences differently. For some autistic individuals, we can hold onto emotions more deeply and for longer. Often, we need to loop back on an experience again and again to reprocess it, which can resurface old feelings. A harsh comment, a moment of shame or a friendship breakdown can live in our systems for years.

Therapy that pushes to “move on” too quickly can feel invalidating. Many autistic people need a slower pace, space to go deep, and a strong sense of fairness and understanding.

Autistic Women face a unique set of challenges and we can’t ignore that.

• Autistic Women are at significantly higher risk of suicide. In the UK, they are 13 times more likely to die by suicide than non-autistic women.

• We are far more likely to mask (to hide or suppress our autistic traits) to fit in socially. This comes at a cost: burnout, depression, anxiety, and a loss of identity.

• Autism in Women is often under- or misdiagnosed, because we don’t always fit the old, male-based stereotype that assessments were built around.

• Many of us “fit in too well” — or not at all. We’re overlooked, misunderstood, or given the wrong label entirely.

• We often discover our autism later in life, after years of trying to make sense of why things feel so hard. That means a huge amount of unlearning, grief, and rebuilding.

Support services,  GPs, crisis teams, social care etc. often misread or misunderstand us. They pathologise our natural emotional expressions as “too sensitive,” “hysterical,” or “dramatic’’ and too often we’re infantilised, dismissed, and stigmatised.

Autistic Women frequently feel like we don’t belong. Not in neurotypical spaces, not in ‘female’ spaces, and sometimes not even in autistic spaces. That deep sense of alienation can be hard to put into words, and harder still to find support for. It can unfortunately lead to lifelong loneliness and isolation.

Only around 22% of autistic people in the UK are in any kind of paid work. For women, especially those who’ve been misdiagnosed or unsupported, work can feel impossible. Many are unemployed despite wanting to work, or have been pushed out of jobs that weren’t set up with our needs in mind. The financial vulnerability that comes with this can lead to dependence on partners or family, sometimes creating unsafe or unhealthy dynamics. Some Women are left trapped by debt, abuse and attempting to navigate systems that don’t understand them.

Autistic Women are also at greater risk of violence and abuse, especially of sexual violence. Yet we face more barriers to reporting, accessing support, or being believed. Our autism is often used against us to discredit, to dismiss, to silence. The justice system, like so many others, fails to protect us.

When you layer all of this together; gender expectations, sensory overwhelm, trauma, and invisibility, it’s clear that autistic Women carry a heavy, often unseen burden.

Too often, autism is viewed through a deficit-based lens, especially in services and medical models that focus on what's "missing" or "wrong." But that framework can be incredibly damaging, particularly for autistic Women who’ve spent their whole lives feeling misunderstood. While I never dismiss the real challenges we face, I also hold a strong belief in a strengths-based perspective. Autistic Women often have deep empathy, insight, creativity, and resilience and we deserve support that honours those strengths as well as the struggles.

As a late-diagnosed autistic Woman myself, I’ve felt the weight of this. That’s why creating this space matters to me. A space where your needs aren’t too much, where your brain isn’t wrong, where you don’t have to explain or mask. Just show up as you are and be met with care, respect, and understanding.